![]() Here she is utilizing an unbelievable Southern accent as the mother of the Day Walker desperately trying to protect her daughter from the undead and her daughter’s chastity from any handsome mortal suitors as well. Of all the cast members of “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, it seems Marina Sirtis has had the hardest time parlaying that fame into anything else. There’s sort of a godfather vampire who’s less mobile than Jabba the Hut that spends the entire movie sitting up in a bed with a topless woman while his minions stand around talking to him the way you’d imagine a fantasy warlock’s henchmen would talk to their master in a story written by a seven-year-old. Sticky Fingaz isn’t even the main vampire bad guy. All we mortals need to know is that their doing so is very bad for us so best we keep it from happening. ![]() ![]() Just annoying vampire by-laws that I’m sure make perfect sense to them. When they capture the Day Walker, they intend to perform some ritual during the solstice that involves setting her on fire and eating her ashes. Vampires looking for a Day Walker are like the old lady in the supermarket squeezing every grapefruit until she finds just the right one that is ripe enough for her. So many women die in this movie because they fail the Day Walker taste test. It would appear a vampire can only determine who the Day Walker is by taking a bite out her and drinking some of her blood. 90% of what he snarls seemed to be some variation of either “ Bring me the Day Walker!” or “ Find me the Day Walker!” He’s got Wolverine claws on one hand and growls every line of dialogue as if he’s got an actual wolverine caught in his throat. Sticky Fingaz is the leader of the motorcycle-riding vampire gang hunting for this teenage girl named Lala, the Day Walker. The lack of death races or vehicular chases make this the most pointless use of the title Speed Demons ever. A couple of the vampires ride motorcycles that’s all anything in this movie really has to do with speed or demons. Why the title is Speed Demons is anybody’s guess. It was el cheapo I was right about that much. Speed Demons, it turns out, is neither a compilation film of “Blade: The Series episodes nor a Blade mockbuster, either of which, however, would have been preferable to what I watched. Now I was curious to see if Garcia had made his own el cheapo knock-off of Blade starring the guy that played the character on TV. The later was such a rip-off of Vacancy even The Asylum would have called it shameless. The former was as blatant a rip-off of Predator as you’ll ever see starring Kevin Sorbo battling a cyborg soldier run amok in the jungle. I only know the name because I’ve reviewed two films of his in the past year or so: Flesh Wounds and Terror Trap. The other thing that had me wondering was the name Dan Garcia. ![]() Given the lack of IMDB entry, the fact that this movie was available on VOD with seemingly no DVD release in the works, and how little else info there was besides it starring Sticky Fingaz and having to do with vampires, specifically, a “Day Walker”, I found myself wondering if this was just a movie compiled from episodes of that “Blade” TV series. You might recall that Sticky Fingaz starred in the short-lived Spike TV “Blade: The Series”. ![]()
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